Monday, April 21, 2008

Monday Moment: He Walks Through Walls

I gave a little thought to walls while in Istanbul last month. It was hard not to considering the impossibly old ones that rise up around every corner to hedge you inside courtyards and continents.

If ever there was an expert at walls, it may be me. You'd think I'd have my little Freeman House done by now in light of how quickly I throw up walls. Not literal ones, of course... emotional ones. Spiritual ones. Walls that I think protect me. Walls that really hold me captive.

Let's all be real here, if only for a second. Anyone who's ever been hurt has become an amateur brick layer. I was reading this book yesterday and it talked about the 'Walking Wounded'. I decided that I'm more like the Walking Wall Woman. Sure, you're invited to join in my life; I have nothing to hide. Just don't forget to bring your repelling gear.

I have walls. I'll be the first to slink up my hand and admit it. And I thought these walls were serving me well. I've liked the distance and privacy they've afforded me to grieve and blame. To hide and gather myself and work on a new battle plan. Just look at the walls I carefully stacked: a wall of unforgiveness. A wall of cruelly-smashed dreams. A wall of one-horrible-marriage-is-enough. But the truth is that, even as a Christian, I've run behind my walls for comfort and safety instead of heading for the arms of the very One who died to save me.

I love John 20. If you haven't read it lately, I encourage you to. Jesus has just been buried. His disciples - the very ones He'd called to follow Him - had deserted Him. (Peter denied Him three times.) The men are hiding out together, the Bible says, behind "doors locked". Talk about walls. Can you imagine? There were literal ones, sure, but I'll bet they were each working on their individual barricades. Walls of doubt. Grief. Disbelief. Anger. Abandonment. Guilt. Sadness. Shame. And suddenly there's Jesus. Standing among them. The same Jesus they'd abandoned and denied. He found them. And I love what He says. I love it. To the very ones who sat waiting behind their walls, Jesus appears and says: Peace be with you.

Peace. Be with you. Not, What in the world have you done? Not, Thanks for leaving me alone to die. Oh. And for denying me. Good one. Not, We have a score to settle here. Nope. None of that. Jesus - the holy God who'd just given His life for a bunch of losers - walked into their broken-up, grief filled, devastated lives and said: Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, I am sending you. Not only did He seek them out... AGAIN... He forgave them. He accepted them despite their colossal sin. He gave them another shot.

He walks through walls. I know because He walked through one of my walls and found me yesterday. And things feel differently this morning without a wall to slink behind. I feel free. Amazingly free.

Not sure what your situation might be, but know this today: like the disciples - like me, even - your carefully constructed walls aren't doing you any favors. They're holding you captive. And they'll never be too old.. too established... too high... or too much for Jesus.

He walks through walls. Have you heard? He walks through walls.

Monday Moment is a little devotional to help kick-start your week. Hope to see you again next time!

22 comments:

Vee ~ A Haven for Vee said...

1Praise be to God that He does the work because anything less than that and we're all sunk. Thank you for this comforting word today. I've been in need of comfort and reassurance.

Brambleberry said...

POWERFUL!

Anonymous said...

Bri, my name is Sylvia and live in AZ. I do not have a blog, but I do read yours. If you wrote a book about anything...your life up to this point...a child's book...cookbook...your travels...how your faith has brought you here...your life...daily devotionals...I would be the first in line to purchase it. You have a gift Bri...this is your calling...to write. We do not know eachother, but of one thing I am certain...you are where you need to be at this moment in your life. You need to write a book Bri...several! You have this wonderful GIFT to express yourself in such a beautiful way. Sometimes you have me crying...sometimes laughing...you have this wit and clever way of putting things down on paper! That is your gift from GOD. Keep doing what you are doing...living your life as you are. Do not listen to those who bring you down. If someone can write a book called EAT, PRAY, LOVE (and you write much better) and have it be the #1 best seller list for so long, I'm sure you can too. I love the way you write Bri...and usually, I am very critical of how books are written. I read your blog everyday and tell my husband what I have found. Presently he is working on a 6-billion dollar contract proposal and just got out of a meeting and called me and you will never believe what he asked me? "Hi honey...I have only 5 minutes, what did you find on Bri's blog today?" I had to laugh.
I just had to share this with you. I am not sure how this blogging thing works and I have never commented, but I hope you get this. Peace be with you Bri. Peace be with you. Syl from AZ

RaeofSunshine said...

Just when I think its finally okay to start taking down my wall something happens to totally shake my faith. AGAIN. And I build it even HIGHER. Then I read your blog today and I realized I have to start sometime, even if I take my wall down one brick at a time, I will take it down. Starting today. I have to let go and let God. I still have my issues, my trust is totally in shreds as I write this but just knowing that I am not alone, that others, that YOU, have felt this way gives me calming peace. Coming here everday gives me peace. Knowing God gives me peace and that gives me courage. So today a few bricks will come down...thank you. Peace be with you, ever and always. Rae

Anonymous said...

Wow, I needed that, I sort of like my walls but the problem with them is that it's hard to see over them. God is working and this post really reminded me that I have to continually deal with these walls.
I'm off to read John 20...

Mare said...

Thank you so much for your post today. It has helped me!! I have had a rough marriage, we have been married for 25 years this year and I think there have been more rough times than good. And because of that I have built 'walls' as you put it today. I always thought of it as guarding my heart. I am tired of being hurt and I don't want to be hurt anymore so therefore it hinders the relationship. It is very hard to get out of the rut.
Thank you so much and God bless you greatly with this blog. You are a great encourager!!

From A Creative Heart said...

So....wallpapering and redecorating the walls won't work??? (Smile)
I really needed what you wrote today. It is much easier to dress up those walls than to begin to take them down. But the freedom is worth the struggle.
Thank you for your post today!!!
Hugs,
Deb

Simple Fancies said...

wow

Anonymous said...

He also walks through DOORS and fixes them....as he did for me about an hour ago.

Brin, thank you for helping me with my WALLS and DOORS!!!!! And thank you for what you are doing for me today!

Yours in fighting walls/doors,
grace f

Rebecca said...

Yes yes yes!!! Thats exactly what He did for me the other week, during my so called "sabbatical." He walked right through that wall of distrust, knocked that baby right down. I know I'll attempt at times to rebuild that wall, but with his gentle reminders, hopefully he'll dismantle it again. And, I know exactly what you mean by feeling free! Isn't it cool the way He works? :)

April/OK said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sue Neitzel said...

Very powerful, the best MM yet! And I'm so happy for you to realize your walls weren't protecting you, like you thought. You DO have a gift, one belongs in many books! Hugs!!

Brin said...

April/OK,

Thanks for the comment! I hope you're not terribly offended that I deleted it. I try my best to keep any references to my real name and/or specific location off the blog...

Thanks! :D

Sue said...

Brin,
I too enjoy your writing and agree that this is truly your gift- at least one of them! Today's writing was powerful. Thank you so much for sharing and putting into words what we all experience.
Sue

Anonymous said...

Faith and Time are great wall breaker-downers (I know, breaker-downer is not a word...but...ummm...it kind of works!)...both help us to heal and let us see...sometimes you need a good wall...that is for a while...then the wall will slowly come down as the healing begins...its time for you to become a wall breaker-downer...do it at your own speed...even if its only a few bricks at a time....Hang in there Brin!
Geneen from Calif...

Linda Z said...

Very insightful Monday Moment, Brin. I'm so glad Jesus didn't put up walls. It's amazing how He is our high priest, yet made Himself so vulnerable and able to sympathize with us in every way. He didn't let pain or ridicule or anything else stop His life of sacrifice and love. Oh, how I want to be more like Him... letting nothing stop me from being about my Father's business. Just had a thought... if God could tear down the awesome walls of Jericho, He can certainly tear down our walls, right?? Let's sound the trumpets and give a mighty yell! Our God is powerful!! :)

P.S. Hey, did you see Tristan Prettyman came out with a new CD?

*STEALTH* said...

thats a great post. very true, God is faithful. he is always there. its us who kick it elsewhere

sea mystery said...

Oh, Brin. If ever I needed this post, it's today. Always thought no one would be able to shake my faith, but was almost made to feel totally worthless. Worked my whole life and was told they want to take 5 of us from my office and make us into a secretarial pool ... though only one of us is actually a secretary. Was in tears, but came home and spent an hour talking with my savior. He made me feel whole again and helped me to scale the wall I was trying to build and knocked it down with me. My faith has been restored and will try to make the best of the situation. Also putting in for a transfer to somewhere else. He told me it was time. And then I read your post. How prophetic you are, my dear, and how comforting to this old girl. Love you!
Carolyn xxoo

Donna Lynn said...

Beautiful, thanks so much for this post! I will spend much time thinking about all you said!
Blessings, Donna Lynn

tara said...

I just had to comment on this MM post. I have never posted before, but quietly read what you have to say as often as I can. I love what you wrote and what Jesus spoke to me through your words. The way he can walk through the walls of our heart throughs word and by way of internet blogs is just amazing! I feel like finding your blog has been a gift to me. Sometimes I feel as though there are some walls I have put up that God uses a chisel on...it takes time...sometimes the walls come down in bricks, sometimes piece by piece with that chisel. Just knowing He has not given up and continues to work on me affords me much comfort. What a perfect example Jesus gave in this passage about how we should treat others that have wronged us or those we don't feel deserve a second chance. I am the ultimate wall constructer when it comes to facing situations where there is a possibility of rejection. I feel like I've missed out on many wonderful relationships because of this. God sometimes uses that chisel to work away at my walls, and though it can be painful, it is a good kind of pain with longterm rewards(kind of like a deep tissue back massage)! :) Other times God uses words - a little less painful but still a very powerful tool to work on those unnecessary walls in our lives. Thank you for being such an outspoken Christian and sister in Christ. blessings to you always, Brin.

Tara

april said...

My apologies. :(

Once Upon A Notion said...

Brin,
As usual you cut right to the heart of the matter. I feel absolved when i know that Jesus has forgiven mr for my trials and tribulations - things I know I should not do, but do anyway.

Thanks for always putting yourself out there in a clan and concise manner. you are a true blessing to so many.