Tuesday, June 16, 2009

I wish my life was as organized as my kitchen cabinet.

So much to say and respond to today, but the truth is, I have other things on my heart. My Grandpa is being released from ICU today. We're bringing him home so he can pass in the place he loves best. Funeral arrangements were made yesterday, so now we make him as comfortable as we can and wait.

Yes, there's that, and this: the bakery is closed and I'm losing Freeman House. Deciding where in this world to move and what in the world to do in the meantime is about all my brain can manage.

Yes, I wish my life was as easily ordered as my kitchen cabinet....

79 comments:

redeemed diva said...

I am praying for you today.

millicent said...

Brin I am so sorry for your present troubles. May your grandfathers passing be gentle - he will take so much love with him. Your faith has been very sorely tested of late. I know God fits the back for the burden but you have truly been tested of late. I have never responded to any blog before but just felt compelled to send you gentle thoughts from U.K. Lorna in Cleveland U.K.

Patsy said...

Oh, how my heart hurts for you. I will say prayers for your dear Grandpa Jack. And also prayers for you as you travel thru this journey in your life. I will ask God to send His angels to be with you and to point the way and give guidance and comfort.

Soon He will be opening windows and let the breezes flow in.
Then just get on your magic carpet with dear sweet Millie and ride off to your next messy, thrilling adventure.

Leigh Ann said...

I will pray for peace, guidance and comfort....words escape me for the troubles you are facing. I am so sorry!

Shelley in SC said...

Oh.my.word. Grieving for you . . . in many ways. Praying for you. One day at a time.

Susan said...

I'm with Patsy - this too will pass, life will go on and after your magic carpet ride with Miss Millie you "will" land on your feet ... gracefully. You always do.

So sorry about your grandfather

Susan said...

ps - could you live with your grandmother, keep her company for a while until the next chapter becomes visible ?

Michelle said...

Oh Brin, I'm so sorry about everything you're going through. You have been through so much. I admire your strength. I pray your grandfather passes peacefully. I wish I could help somehow. :(

Victoria said...

Wow, you have so much on your shoulders! I wish I could help lift some of the burden.

I know that you believe God will see you through all of this so I won't reiterate that fact. Just know that I am praying for you!

scot7 said...

I,M SO SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF BOTH YOUR GRANDFATHER AND THE LOSS OF YOUR DREAMS!!ITS ALWAYS DARKEST BEFORE THE DAWN!HANG IN THERE, TRUST IN GOD AND TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME!YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS.

Grace =) said...

I feel for you while you are going through this trying time. Don't we all wish our lives were something we could organize and set up the way we wish, but no. God's plans for us are so much bigger and wilder than we could make for ourselves. But He is a God of order so I am confident that these changes you are about to face are all carefully planned out to the last detail by your creator who loves you.
Sending hugs and warm thoughts to you and your family.
Gracie

TBS said...

Thinking of you!
Tine, Denmark

YogaGracie said...

Brin- I was curious if there is a way to send you an e-mail directly? I tried to find a way to send you a message on FB, but haven't had much luck. I have more to share than what can fit in this tiny space...contact me through my website www.frontporchyoga.com. Wishing you love and sunshine...

shoegrrl said...

I'm so sorry on both counts, Brin.

Losing a family member is never easy, no matter how prepared you think you are or how relieved you are to see their suffering end. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Losing Freeman House must be
almost as painful; you've poured so much of yourself into her. In a small way, I feel like we're all losing her with you - we've read along as you've triumphed in restoring her rooms, laughed as you've indulged in "spa mowing" and cried when her roof leaked. So just know that we're all here with you, praying for your successes and hoping for your peace. And remember that even Jesus cried out from the cross, "Why have You forsaken me?" But He never does. All things work for good for those who love the Lord, as you do. (Romans 8:28).

Sandi said...

So sorry Brin. Praying for you for peace , rest and comfort.
Hugs~

Randi said...

I'm so sorry for you ... so much going on in your life right now and all of it heavy. Praying for you.

Kathleen Grace said...

Oh Brin, I am so sorry. So very, very sorry. This is too much all at once. I am praying for you every day. God will make a way for you I know it.

Sue said...

You are being uplifted in prayer. Too much to take in at once. I pray that you can lean on the Comforter.

ancient one said...

So sorry... prayers are with you!

Bee said...

I hardly know you, yet my heart is breaking for you. You will be in my prayers.

Brambleberry said...

Praying.

Sue@CountryPleasures said...

Oh Brin, I wish there was something I could do to help, I know your grandfather is in good hands and I pray he leaves this earth in peace. My heart breaks for you at the thought of losing Freeman House, I wish I could buy it so you could stay put! Sending you hugs and prayers!

~Mad said...

Gosh, what is there to say that would help or be any different? I have this tacked up in front of me at my desk - it's long, but.....
"I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. Nor do I really understand myself. And the fact that I think I am following Your will does not mean I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does, in fact, please you. And I hope I have the desire in all that I am doing. I hope I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my troubles alone." ~Thomas Merton

~Mad(elyn) in Alabama
www.xanga.com/madewyn

Elenka said...

Oh, Brin. I wish I could just take you under my wing...remember what they say, when a door is closed in one place....there's an open window somewhere else.
I try to believe that....sometimes it takes a long time to find that darn window...I'm still looking.
Sorry the bakery is closing, but you know what? It was something you wanted to do and the important thing is that you gave it a shot. You will never have to sit around wondering what it would have been like, had you not attempted it.
Best to you, my sweet Brin.

Neighborhood Gossip said...

Brin,

Praying for you and thinking of you. There will be other Freeman Houses and you will make them lovely as you have with this one. We all love you and know it must be some painful. Thank you for bearing your soul today.

Southern Comfort said...

I'm sorry about your Grandfather but may the idea of him being in his home-a place that he loves and where he is loved-bring you, him, and his family peace. And, I think Susan has a great idea about moving in with your Grandmother. You and she would be a great comfort to each other. She probably also has a lot that she could teach you. A lot of history, and wisdom to impart to you, a lot of life that she has lived to share with you. Prayers for you, continually.

Terri and Bob said...

Praying for God's love to wrap around you and give you comfort at this time.

Kerri said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the tough times you are experiencing. But hang in there--through your words, we've all seen how strong you are. You'll be just fine.

Kimberly said...

I am so very sorry Brin. Too many heavy burdens to be borne at once, but I hope you know that so many of us are helping to carry the load in prayer. Lots of love to you.

Lynn said...

Brin, I am so sorry. I am praying for you and your family. God Bless.

Jenn said...

So sorry Brin. Lost our house last year. Broken hearts are mended by The Great Physician:) Praying for you!

Ariadone said...

Brin, WHY are you loosing the HOUSE, I don't get it..........

Ariadone said...

Brin. Don't YOU give up.....what is your family to do for you ??? Ask them to help you, for crying out loud.........

paisley penguin said...

So sorry to hear of this. You are in my thoughts!

LindaSonia said...

Oh my, I'm so sorry for the heavy load you have to bear. Wish I could help you carry it. All I can offer are my prayers.

God will make a way. Hugs, LindaSonia

marymartha said...

Brin,
I am sending up prayers, I am living in fear of losing my house any day too. I have you in my heart. A friend sent me this today from Julian of Norwich,
"All will be well, and all will be well, and all manner of things shall be well--Julian of Norwich. Keep saying it!"
May the Peace of the Lord be with you and yours.
Martha

Stickhorsecowgirls said...

It has been a year of, well, awful trial for me, too. What gives in the heavenlies, anyway? We know, however, that we have a Father in heaven who has and will pull us through. Blessing on you and prayers for you, Brin. C

patientmom said...

Brin, you say what you do so beautifully and so simply...but, oh my goodness, if my heart is breaking at the reading of this post, then how much more must your heart be at the writing of it.

I hold on the hope with you of a grand and glorious adventure just outside of Freeman House doors...and Henrybella's, well, it's simply just too grand an idea not to live on!...someplace, sometime...it should be yours again.

You are such a grand success! No man is a failure who has friends, and it is beyond obvious that you have abundant friends.

And there is no shame in trying...trying IS succeeding!

I wish I had a bundle of cash to pass your way, but as it is...our own finances are in such a tumble too. I wish it could be different for all of us.

Know that we are praying for you and believing with you that the very best of days are still in front of you.

Take time to grieve, take time to love, take time to breathe....take time for YOU...

You are a treasure :)

May God's richest blessings be abundantly yours in this the beginning of your grand adventure....

Kelly said...

Praying for you and for your family. I know how it feels to watch a beloved grandpa pass and to watch your grandma grieve. It hurts.

Life At Camellia Cottage said...

Praying for you!

Tammy said...

I can't think of anything to say beyond I'm so sorry and I'll keep praying for your peace and comfort.

Jenn said...

I am praying that your grandfather's passing is quiet, quick, painless and with those he loves nearby.
I am also sorry you are losing freeman house and the bakery is closed and pray that your next place will appear soon.
All we have right now is a roof over our head (courtesy of my amazing & loving grandmother) and the rest we will be lucky to pay any of this month. But we haven't given up hope and are keeping our faith in this really, really rough patch. Know there are many who are keeping you in our thoughts and prayers.

Erin said...

My heart just dropped.

I am so sorry Brin. Praying for you, for comfort and guidance.

Becky K. said...

I'm praying that the next plans HE has for you are at least as good as the best of times you have experienced over the past two years that I have read your blog.

What a life you have been called to live...Stay faithful to Jesus and HE will lead you to blessings beyond compare.

You have gifts and talents like crazy...can't wait to see what is next.

I'll pray for this transition time. It has to be hard.

Patty said...

I am soooo sorry to hear about your loss of the Freeman House. I know how hard you have worked to put up walls,ect. to make it look better. I am also sorry to hear about the bakery. I really felt that you could make a go of it in TX.

My biggest prayers are with you concerning your grandfather and where you are going to live, find a job and be happy.

It's hard to have the death of a love one on your shoulders but to have all 3 of these very important parts of your life...WoW!!! My prayer's are with you Brin. I have been there and done that.

Betty said...

Brin,

A verse that means so much to our family is First Peter 5:7.."Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you....and I know He does...

God Bless...Betty @ Country Charm

Emma said...

I am so sorry, Brin. I have been reading along for a few months now and have enjoyed your blog so much. I will be praying for you, your grandfather, and your family during these difficult times.

Lulu said...

I'm sorry...
you are in my prayers..
hugs,

Kellie said...

Brin,
I read your blog all the time but never comment. Tonight, I needed to leave you a message that you are in my prayers, and I hope you treasure these last moments with your grandfather. The house and bakery thing will work itself out, somehow.
Thinking of you,
Kellie

S Stargell Designs said...

Brin,
Is there anything we can do to help? I am praying for you and Millie. Is there a way we can help you raise money to save Freeman house? Is this all beyond hope? Praying for your entire family during the wait for your Grandpa's homecoming.

Love and hugs!
Steph

SusieQ said...

Just remember that we are not given more than we can handle. Things always work out. It might not be what you first imagined, but things do work out. My thoughts are with you and your family. Susan

carla said...

After reading the post about Quarterback Jack, I thought a lot about him, and aging and my mother, who is almost 95 and has Alzheimer's. Then I read today's post and I thought about you and the things that are happening in your life and I'm so sorry. And I thought about what I could say to you and wondered if there's anything I could say that would be much comfort to you right now.

I believe that Jesus can heal all our wounds, but that it's not always instantly. I don't believe that grieving over changes in our lives is wrong.

Reading your blog for the past year and a half has been an enriching experience for me. I've read books that you mentioned; I admired you for opening the bakery. I appreciate the skill with which you write; it's like reading a book written in journal form, and I do love to read. So, take a deep breath, rest in the arms of Jesus and pet Millie for me and all your readers.

Have you ever thought about putting your blog in manuscript form, fictionalizing some if need be?

Becky said...

You are on my heart and in my prayers.

So blessed! said...

Sending hugs your way. You are in my thoughts and definitely in my prayers. You have so many admirers praying for you during this season in your life. Keep your eyes to the skies!

jen&john&maddy said...

I'm so very sorry. Here's an extra prayer that will be winging its way towards you and your family.

Deb said...

Tears down here, for sure. But there will be rejoicing in heaven when your beloved Grandpa comes home. I join your many faithful readers in offering prayers in your behalf for all facets of your life. Love and hugs to you, Millie, and your family!

KSK said...

When the winds blow and the rains pour, they blow and pour on all. Those who have built their foundations on bedrock rather than sand survive the storms. There is a way to build on bedrock by developing a deep personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing how to receive inspiration. We must know—and know that we know.

I know that you know, God be with you.

Rain said...

I am so saddened to hear your news. But I know that whatever you put your hand to will flourish. It's not Freeman House or your bakery that was so special but YOU.
Rest in HIS love.

Brandy said...

I can tell you that your blog follows feel like they/we know you. We are all crying with you. I'm so sorry for your Grandfather.

Sixteen Chickens said...

There is much love in the universe for you. You are blessed.

teresa said...

I discovered your blog a few months ago and you have been such an inspiration to me. I haven't ever commented but I felt led to this morning. My grandfather was bedfast for two years before he passed away, he had always been active and it was hard to see him not being able to walk. Right before he died I heard a song that helped me so much, it was even sung at his funeral. It is called, "Is Not This the Land of Beulah". The words are just beautiful. Here they are:

I am dwelling on the mountain,
Where the golden sunlight gleams
O’er a land whose wondrous beauty
Far exceeds my fondest dreams;
Where the air is pure, ethereal,
Laden with the breath of flow’rs,
They are blooming by the fountain,
’Neath the amaranthine bow’rs.
* Refrain:
Is not this the land of Beulah?
Blessed, blessed land of light,
Where the flowers bloom forever,
And the sun is always bright!
I can see far down the mountain,
Where I wandered weary years,
Often hindered in my journey
By the ghosts of doubts and fears;
Broken vows and disappointments
Thickly sprinkled all the way,
But the Spirit led, unerring,
To the land I hold today.
I am drinking at the fountain,
Where I ever would abide;
For I’ve tasted life’s pure river,
And my soul is satisfied;
There’s no thirsting for life’s pleasures,
Nor adorning, rich and gay,
For I’ve found a richer treasure,
One that fadeth not away.
Tell me not of heavy crosses,
Nor of burdens hard to bear,
For I’ve found this great salvation
Makes each burden light appear;
And I love to follow Jesus,
Gladly counting all but dross,
Worldly honors all forsaking
For the glory of the cross.
Oh, the cross has wondrous glory!
Oft I’ve proved this to be true;
When I’m in the way so narrow,
I can see a pathway through;
And how sweetly Jesus whispers:
“Take the cross, thou need’st not fear,
For I’ve tried the way before thee,”
And the glory lingers near.

I could just imagine him STANDING on that mountain talked about in the first verse. He was young and smiling. How wonderful it was to think of him that way! I believe your Grandfather too will walk and run again!
While reading through the words of that song this morning, I realized how fitting all the words are. I am praying for you today and for your family!
Here is a link to the song as sung by the Isaacs:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zctoIWWalhc

I Should Be Cleaning Up said...

oh no. I don't know what to say. But thank you for showing us how someone can go through hard times with grace and faith. I can say it's nice to be able to read how people deal with the difficult things in life, and thanks for sharing, for showing people they aren't alone when the going gets tough. I, for one, get tired of reading all the airy fairly goodness that surrounds us, when it's anything but at times. We seem to learn the most through trials, and I always try to remember that God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

muttonfish said...

So, so very sorry, about your grandfather; about everything. I agree with the comment that Freeman House and the bakery were just special because they were exensions of you...whatever you put your hand to is special to your readers. I also think you should *seriously* consider publishing. There's no investment to be lost -- not even time, as it is already written. You have touched so many of us and connected with us in a fundamental way. You have a true gift to share.

Hang in there, kid.

jAne said...

I'm so sorry, on so many levels, about what's been happening to the bakery, to Freeman House, to Millie (although puppy kisses are so healing)... to your precious grandfather.

There is a time for every purpose under heaven .. seasons of life .. not always comfortable, wanted or relished .. but it's reality and sometimes that reality puts us in a place of continued dependence upon Him. Stick close to the One Who loves you most. Even closer. In all your ways aknowledge Him. His plan is already in motion. He has gone before you for His greater purpose. Just wait and see what the Lord has done. <><

I see you in that place, Brinn, and I continue in prayer.

jAne at tickleberryfarm.blogspot.com

Susan said...

I wonder if you've thought about freelance writing or editing (says she who's been working from home for 8 years) try monster.com or careerbuilder.com - to name 2 sights (key word freelance writer, editor, copy editor or ...???). I have found the customer's who've kept my business (product design) going these past 8 years on these two sights. Good Luck!

tara said...

Brin, I am so so sorry to hear all that is going on in your life. I am grieving with you as a sister in Christ. As I read this blog post today this is the verse that came to mind:

"Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning." Psalm 30:5

Oh, and this one, too...:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Matthew 11:28-30

HUGE hugs and prayers for you today and in this 'season'...
Love,Tara

***LARISSA*** said...

I have so many thoughts and worries and wishes for you... but my words are choked up right now, so I can only tell you that you are in my thoughts and prayers!

Nina Diane said...

so sorry about your grandfather.
what's up with the bakery....I thought it was going well

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

Just remember that when he passes, someone on this side will say, 'there he goes', while someone on the other side will say, 'here he comes.' It helped me a lot when my Mom and Dad passed. Keep the faith my sweet girl. Lots of love to your Grandpa. xxoo

An Accomplished Woman said...

Brin,

I am so sorry for you. You are such a wonderful person. I will say prayers for your Grandfather.

Cynthia

diana said...

xoxoxo and lots of prayers!

Brenda said...

My heart just aches for you! May the Lord shine His face upon you! You are in my prayers.

Dream. Imagine. Happen. said...

I am thinking of you every day.

Jessica said...

Brin, I am behind on my blogs and am so saddened to see your news. May your grandfathers passing be easy and filled with peace as he is welcomed home. Prayers for your whole family.

Also hoping for a miracle when it comes to Freeman House.

Pearls To Hide My Neck said...

Just thinking about you and hoping for a miracle with Freeman House and Henrybella's. Glad you are able to be with your family now.

Linda at Lime in the Coconut! said...

...And sometimes, just sometimes, everything crashes together at once. While we can't see it while we are in it...it's is how and why we really grow. As humans, as daughters and granddaughters, as dreamers and hopers.

Strength to you. Peace to your family. Look above...then forward.

Melissa W said...

I hope everything works out for you. Draw strength from you family, and keep your faith in God. He really does have great things planned for all of us, the problem is we just don't quite know what they are until after they've happened, this my dear I didn't realize until many years after my hardships happened. Take care and God bless you. Trust in Him and He will bless you.

fairmaiden said...

Wishing for a gentle, peaceful passing for your Grandfather. He is blessed to have you all by his side.

I'm so sad to hear you are losing Freeman House...you've given so much to make it a home...poured so much of your heart and soul into that place...and we have grown to love 'her' as you do...who is taking it, the bank? I hope not. Maybe God is just moving you to the place He wants you to be, at this time...and that is the best place to be. We don't know what the future holds, and we don't know what can happen, but He does and if it was His will for you to remain in Freeman House you would...Thank Him for taking care of you (and Millie)...try not to worry, He will bring you to a sweet place that you will be grateful for.

rachel said...

brin, i've never posted here before but i've read your whole blog - you have been such a blessing and an inspiration to me, and i am grateful for you.
i stopped reading when the bakery opened, and just found my way back and am sorry i didn't come sooner. there are no words that i could offer that could even come close to saying what i mean. so i guess i'll just tell you i'm praying.
take care, and i'm going to start reading again...