Sunday, September 23, 2007

She's Gone

And just like that, she's gone.

My Maebelline died today. My precious, constant companion for the past six years is gone. I buried my face in her fur and clutched the steel table at the vet's office as they put her down. "I'm sorry," he said, looking sympathetic. She jerked and went still. Very still.

"I think I need to take a walk. Sorry for pulling you out of church," I mumbled, and made it as far as the waiting room before sliding down the wall into a puddle of tears.

We buried her alongside the hydrangeas beneath my bedroom window. It began to rain soon after. My little kitty... my friend in fur pajamas.... outside in the rain. Tied in a plastic bag beneath the dirt.

It can't be. It just can't be....

30 comments:

Patsy said...

I am so, so sorry. I have two fur babies and one of them is older and not in good shape. Her time is coming soon. I feel your pain.

betty r said...

Oh Brin...that is so sad. I am thinking of you today!

Kathleen Grace said...

I am so sorry, I know how loving and loved pets can be. They are truley a presence and personality in the home.

donna.case@insightbb.com said...

I too am so very sorry. I have been there & it hurts so very much.

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

I just had to put my "best friend" of 16 1/2 years to sleep because of a stroke.

If it were just being blind that was a problem, I'd have kept her and loved her just the way she was.

However, her kidneys were failing and we knew she was beginning to suffer.

My husband buried her under the dogwood tree we love so much. (I hope kitties don't mind the name.)

I still cry myself to sleep at night.

My heart goes out to you for the grief is as real as if they were human.

kit said...

I've been reading your blog for a while for all of your beautiful pictures and I feel that I have to write you a note of sympathy. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sweet old dog a few months ago and when I read about someone's pet passing away it brings me to tears. I'm a stay at home mom so he was my buddy (because our cat sleeps 23 hours a day). To this day I can break out crying at odd times just thinking about him. It doesn't get any easier, maybe in time, but not right now.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry. We never forget our dear little pals no matter how many we have.
Kathy

Robolady said...

I am so sorry for your loss. You are a good mamma for taking such good care of her. for making the hard decisions when they needed to be made. You did the right thing.

Debbie said...

I am so sorry. My heart and prayers go out to you. ((((HUGS)))

emily said...

i am so sorry for your loss! it's such a hard thing . . . i will keep you in my prayers!

Becka said...

Oh, I am so sorry. It's hurts so bad to lose a pet. So very sorry...

VintageGirl said...

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))I am so sorry for your loss. Heather

Deb said...

Dear Brin
I am so sorry to hear about your sweet Maebelline.
Thinking of you.

Cottage said...

I'm so sorry about Mae. She is at peace and free. Sending hugs and prayers of comfort.

Anonymous said...

Dear Brin,

My prayers and Christian love are with you at this time of your sorrow.

Words cannot express my heartfelt condolences for you at this time of pain and sorrow.

May our Lord Jesus Christ fill your heart with happy, loving memories of Maebelline each and every day.

Please remember you will one day see Maebelline in heaven with Jesus as He created all things. For if Jesus will come back riding a white horse, He surely has a spot in heaven for Maebelline.

I have lost and loved many cats myself, perhaps when you are ready Jesus will show you the right kitten to rescue.

In Christ,
Kathi

Jae said...

Oh Brin, I feel for you, I was trying to read this to my husband Bill and couldn't finish reading it. Only The Comforter can help you, please know my prayers are with you.

Terri and Bob said...

Brin, I hugged my cat extra hard today. I am so sorry.

lulusparkles said...

oh brin,I am so very sorry. I will pray for you.

Ann said...

Brin,
I am so very sad to hear of your loss - thinking about you and praying that the hole in your heart and life will begin to heal, allowing you to cherish beautiful memories of Maebelline.

Ann &
The Kitty-Boys, Otto and Otis

Mary said...

I feel your pain Brin - I had to do this to our Tiny Cat(who actually was huge!) some years back. She shared our home for 21 years, from the second she was born! We now can joyfully remember the wonderful years with her - you will eventually be able to do this also. It takes time, all losses of loved ones do, but you will remember sweet Maebelline and the many, many good times you shared.
Sending condolences and hugs.

Sue said...

Oh Brin, sending you hugs today for your loss. I've been there many times with dogs that were more like kids and one special cow, so I know just what your feeling, but rest knowing she is in a peaceful place now.

pam said...

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts today.

Brambleberry said...

Oh, my dear, I am so very sorry. There is such a painful sting in loss. I wish I had the words to ease your pain.

I'm praying for you.

bellacolle said...

I am sooo sorry! If I were there, I'd give you a hug!! My Sheperd is away at the breeders...my house is soo silent... in my sassy self, I say 'oh good...peace..no Shelby under foot..' But I miss her, she is my little constant one...I wish I knew what to say... I'm soo sorry!!!

Rose said...

Brin, I am so very sorry for your loss. Pets love us so unconditionally and I think that's why they are so deep in our hearts. Cry until the tears won't come...and then let the sweet memories carry you forward.

Rose

Alison said...

Oh Brin...it was so easy to have tears as I read your post.
So sad and I have no words to make it a little better. I guess time has to do the rest.

Amy said...

I know it's days later but I'm just getting to the blog. I'm so sorry about Mae.
Amy

Dana in KC said...

Oh, that breaks my heart. I'm sitting here crying. Those little furbabies are so much a part of our families---it's just so hard to let them go. We, too, had to put ours to sleep and I still miss him (3 yrs., now). We have a new one, and he's a real gem, but he can't take the place of our Buffy.

bohemia said...

God bring you peace, joy, new love to fill the hole in your heart and reminders of His constant compassion...yours friends out here in Etherland wwalk beside you as you grieve.

La Tea Dah said...

I am so sorry --- I've been through this as well and there are no words to describe the depth of loss and emotion.

Thinking of you and sending up a prayer for you too. . .

LaTeaDah