Monday, September 8, 2008

Not All of Her Dreams...

Not all of her dreams came true,
but she was never sorry she had them.
-Jodi Hills, An Imperfect Life

Last Monday - a week ago today - was my wedding anniversary. I stayed with a friend... another dear, dear woman who survived a horrid marriage and lived to talk about it. When she invited me to stay in her little cottage, she encouraged me to come to the main house and visit before I settled in. I did. We talked until late in the night, and when I stood up to leave, she offered, Can I get you anything before you go? Maybe something to help you sleep?

Oh no. No. No, thank you, I said. I don't like taking medicine unless I have to. Besides, I'm fine.

She looked me over, up and down, and then nodded. When I was in England after my marriage ended, she began, a friend gave me a homeopathic remedy called Ignatia. Just to help me until I got back on my feet. It worked wonders. She handed me four tiny pills. Take these.

I did. I took them. Within an hour, I was completely calm. Clear headed, awake, and normal-feeling, just calmer. It was a miracle. I sunk into my borrowed fluffy bed and breathed deeply. I must have fallen asleep right away.

Since then, I've ordered and tried three different kinds of homeopathic remedies. They've all worked shockingly well and I've experienced no side effects. You guys know I'm not a product pusher. (Books I love, yes. But stuff? No. I don't sell or recommend products.) But natural, homeopathic remedies that work? Yeah. I'm making an exception.

If you're curious, as I was, visit my favorite new homeopathy site here. (And in case anyone should wonder, I ordered and have taken Ignatia, Wise's #174, and #304 . I wholeheartedly recommend them.) This said, I'm not currently on medication of any sort, but if you are, you may want to run these by your doctor before giving them a go.

I have a handful of friends who rely on their anti-depressants. After my marriage ended and I went to counseling, my doctor/hero/counselor/man refused to prescribe me the medicine my friends were on. You're not depressed, he insisted. Some days you're just sad. Then he looked at me gently and added, You dreamed of a loving husband and a happy home and starting a family. And those dreams didn't materialize. You have every right to be sad.

Some days I still remember that conversation and smile. I'm thankful, as he suggested, that I've taken these past two years to face and fight through those broken dreams. I'm proud of myself for not burying the hurt in another unhealthy relationship or suffocating the ache with medicine. And I want to say - to any girl out there who's facing a broken relationship or abuse in her marriage or... divorce - that you can survive. That you will get better. I did, and I know you will too.

Not all of her dreams came true, but she was never sorry she had them....

Just a few things that were on my heart... and my nightstand... today. Maybe this will help someone. Love, Brin

28 comments:

Brin said...

Hey there!

Just a quick word here - I welcome your comments, but please, PLEASE, don't bother commenting just to tell me that another guy is out there... there are other fish in the sea... that I'll get married again someday... blah blah. I have no desire to marry again and frankly, don't want to hear it. Thank you. ;)

Besides, I've already taken my homeopathic stuff today, and don't want to have to take any more.

Heh-heh.

Brin

serenitymeadow said...

You are brave, strong, and have so much class and integrity it's mind-boggling. Just sayin'

Victoria said...

I read the quote at the top of the post and instantly had tears in my eyes. Every woman knows what it's like for dreams to be dashed and hopes to fade. Right now I feel like I am standing in the place of some squashed dreams so I definitely can relate.

Thanks for sharing...

Oh and I'll be checking out Ignatia! :)

KDSL said...

Just wanted to tell you that your blog today really hit "home" for me. I will check out the Ignatia.

I have been reading your blog for a few months now.

I know that I have seen you at church a few times. I will have to introduce myself next time.

See you later! :)

Mia said...

Thank you for that... you hit it right, and maybe this is why i never really wanted to take antidepressants, cuz i didn't really feel depressed.

Just really, really sad at having lost that dream.

Carolyn (Harbor Hon) said...

Thanks Brin, these are now on my list of must haves. Take care of you. xxoo

Brenda@CoffeeTeaBooks said...

Great words!

My life certainly hasn't turned out as I expected but isn't it wonderful to know God is in control and we don't have to fear?

I don't know how people who have no faith survive in this world.

jill said...

Homeopathy is really cool, isn't it? My family and friends have had good outcomes with quite a few different remedies. Thanks for sharing your experiences -

Grace =) said...

homeopathy and naturopathy are areas that really interest me. Thanks for the tip on Ignatia. Thank God for good friends and trusty folks who can counsel us and help to talk us through our hard times!

God bless~

The Quintessential Magpie (Sheila) said...

Brin, I'm glad to know this about Ignatia. My dog has been having a bad go of things, and it's had me up at night for weeks on end. I will check with my naturopath about giving this a try as I need some rest. I wish my dog could take it, too.

Thanks for sharing this information as well as your heart.

Sheila

Cori G. said...

HI Bren,
I'm just glad you were able to work through your pain without the use of anti-depressants. I know women who've been in abusive relationships, got out, took the drugs, and have never been able to get off. You are better for it and you will always be a bride...Bride of Christ that is.
Have a blessed day!
Cori

Tricia said...

My dear friend is a homeopath, and it has been our families form of medical treatment for 15 years. It has helped us through many illnesses and emotional upsets with no nasty side effects that drugs can have.
I'm glad your friend was able to help you with it.

singingsolace said...

I LOVE YOU, BRIN!

Eloise said...

That was a beautiful, heartfelt post, Brin.

It's funny - it never would have occurred to me to say something like "you'll meet someone else one day" because you, and your life, seem so complete as is. I admire you so for carving out this new life for yourself, and I thank you for sharing it with us here.

Athy said...

Oh Brin, you always come up with such lovely posts. I've used homeopathy, but I've never heard of these. I'll have to look into them. My current relationship has plenty of giant bumps on top of my over-coming an ailment (at only 26!) which can add to the curve ball of emotions in life :). This might come in handy!

I agree about your marriage comment. All of us as little girls have this dream and like you, I feel better resisting the dive until everything truly feels 100%. Until I've been with someone for so, so long, there are no doubts left as far as trust and partnership goes. Especially when you have your own properties and business.. combined money and combined ownership of my assets scares the heck outta me!

Athy said...

Oh! I forgot to mention.. "SAMe" is a great emotional support natural supplement also. You can usually find it in health food stores. :)

Lynne said...

athy is right: SAMe is a great supplement. I started on it when I was having difficulty after the death of my Mom last year.

Rescue Remedy is also sold in health food stores and is good for panic attacks and fear. Good news is that is can be used for your pets as well. We used it to calm a nervous dog just before going into the show ring. Also works for pets that are nervous during thunderstorms.

Sue@CountryPleasures said...

Bless that councelor that didn't prescribe you pills for a quick fix, like so many do! Brin, we all go through the bad times, and I believe they are what keeps us strong, grounded and humble. You are the woman today because of the past! And your a survivor! Hugs!

Sissy said...

My dad took several homeopathic treatments when he was battling Luekemia. His doctor said 6 months, but my dad lived another 3 years by drinking some bark/root extract with his orange juice. It works. I am surprised, with your love of the all-natural, that you hadn't found them before.

gems4me said...

Thank you so much for sharing this website. I and my daughter can use exactly what you shared. I am going to call today about these.

hsmomfive said...

Baby, we all carry some horrid memories of the past. But, we cannot continue to live successfully today IN THE MEMORY of our hurts and failures. It's time to tuck these memories away and embrace the JOY OF TODAY and the PROMISES OF THE FUTURE. You have some great support in family, friends, and in your relationship with God. Remember Lot's wife. Go forward, child.
I love you, Mom

Michelle said...

Thank You.

Lorelai Roark Photography said...

I just found your site and I have to say I LOVE it. I'm also in a sort of similar situation and reading through your posts comforted me! Just wanted to say thank you!

Kimberley said...

Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart...whatever they may be.

* said...

Brin -
My sister (Elsa) aims to sell some of her outstanding handcrafted bracelets and other such "stuff" on that same site that you promote in your blog - that is precisely the reason she happened across your blog.
Elsita - as I've called her all my life - was MOST impressed with your blog and, in particular, was struck by the striking common-alities between you and I (love of God, photography, reading, writing, creating, God's handiwork/nature, music, etc.) that she made me promise I would check out your blog.
I did, of course, and was immediately struck by how accurate Elsita's assessment was (I shouldn't have been surprised; she's usually right-on-the-money with that sort of thing).
After having read your blog today, she called me to tell me about the title/opening you'd used and wondered, "Wow, whaddaya think?"

Have you watched the movie, "Field of Dreams?" If so, do you remember the scene where Robert and Francesca are sitting around the kitchen table and Robert made reference to the dreams he'd had that were not realized? "The old dreams were good dreams. They didn't come true, but I'm glad I had 'em." I, too, made reference to that quote (apparently Mr. Eastwood borrowed it from your author!) in my August 29 blog, which I hope you'll check out at some point:

http://ojvreflections.blogspot.com/

At any rate, Brin, I WON'T bother to tell you "that another guy is out there." Two years on in your solo journey after a failed marriage, no, you DON'T want to hear it. Besides, your own walk with the Lord is of infinitely greater value - and if it should please Him to bring you around full circle in His own perfect time, well, that, too, He wil make known to you.
Continue as you are in your journey; it's a good one --- and your sharing of your adventures along that way are proving to be a blessing to many!
Listen to the warm.

* said...

Ooooooops; NOT "Field of Dreams," but - "The Bridges of Madison County!"

Brrrrrrrrrrrrother!

Jenn said...

I just want to thank you for your transparency. Our family has been through a lot lately. Not the same as you. I was blessed with an amazing husband and he is a great father to our children. But, the heartache that comes with life. It is unpredictable and often times those that we rely on let us down. We are frail humans that need one another to survive. Thank you for surviving it with all of us that you share your blog with. Blessings!

Emily said...

Hello! I found your blog though my mom's (homeacre). I love it! Anyways, I loved that little saying you had at the end of this post about not being sorry for having dreams. I just recently (not my choice lol) got out of a two and half year relationship with the man I thought I was going to marry. It was so comforting to hear words like this. I think it wonderful what you are doing with this house and I wish you the best of luck.

Emily