Faith and Cornfields

I had a blowout about 3 hours from home yesterday while on the way to a super-rush, highly stressful work project.
 
Yeah.
 
Yesterday evening, tire repaired, emergency work completed, and utterly worn out, I was driving to spend the night with family I rarely see. When I passed this cornfield, I pulled the car over.
 
Sometimes, when you have a bad day, you just have to pull the car over at sunset and walk through a cornfield.
 
As I walked toward the sinking sun, fingertips brushing corn stalks, I repeated this verse over and over. (And it's almost as if I could feel the words escape from deep inside me and push themselves into the soil.) Let the record show it's one of my favorite, and one of the most beautiful expressions of faith I believe was ever written. Psalm 27:13 says I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.
 
I will see... I WILL see... I am CONFIDENT I will see... I will see Your goodness, Lord. With my eyes. Down here. Maybe not today. Or tomorrow. But one day we WILL see Your goodness here. I can't wait, God. My soul waits to see the goodness and glory of the Lord. I remain confident. I will see it, God...
 
Sometime, when you have a bad day, try walking through a cornfield at sunset and planting the faith and hope of that.
 
It works.
 
Happy weekend.  <3 Brin



(And to the owner of this cornfield, whoever and wherever you are, I apologize for wandering around uninvited. I promise I didn't damage anything... and I prayed for your crop and your family. May God abundantly bless your harvest!)

Gardening Day

Pulling: baby onions. After about 100, I quit for the time being.

Planting: squash, more potatoes, and Moon and Stars watermelon.

Watering: green peas, Zipper Cream peas, tomatoes, potatoes, pinto beans, green beans, Strawberry popcorn, Green Dent corn, and Smoke Signals corn.

Watching: herbs, the new lime basil and strawberries.

Wanting: an artichoke bed so I can make this, and rain barrels like this placed throughout the garden.

Wishing: I'd planted more flowers. Can a girl ever have enough flowers?

Meals. Laundry. Feed animals. Water garden. Pray. Care. Sleep. Repeat.

Happy rhythm...

Soothing Oatmeal

It's raining today, the kind of rain that trickles. I keep checking out the window to make sure it hasn't changed its mind and blown away, realizing this is Texas and ooops, this is historic drought country and what am I doing here? But no, still here. 

It feels like a baking day. A day to run the vacuum and then put on mellow music and flip through recipe cards. Maybe I'll make oatmeal cookies. There's something soothing about oatmeal, isn't there? They're my favorite. But heavy on the brown sugar and vanilla and definitely no raisins. (Shudder) Yes, I think those are going in the oven soon.

Things have been strange around here the past few weeks, as if my world has spun off its axis. Routines disrupted. Usual meals forgone. The ever-silent TV always on.  Strangers in and out. Last night I came home to new faces in my house. They were great, and I expect them back again. But giving up my privacy is proving difficult for me. It gets under my skin into bone. I feel uptight. Earlier I read my devotional from my usual Jesus Calling, and was reminded- as ever- that my stability is not circumstances... the rhythm of my home... days going as I expect... it's in my relationship with Him. 

That makes me breathe easy. It makes me calm. It makes me get up from the computer, turn on the oven, and make cookies for strangers. 

Oatmeal ones, without raisins.

Shelter

For You have been a stronghold to the poor,
    a stronghold to the needy in his distress,
     a shelter from the storm and a shade from the heat.

-Isaiah 25:4

I meant to reward myself with a day of knitting this yarn, but oddly enough shelter became the governing issue of the day, so the I-just-gathered-my-tax-stuff-and-then-filed-an-extension celebration time never happened.

Several months ago, the strangest thing started happening. Things, I should say. See, as eager as I am to get to my little place in the wilderness, stretch out a clothesline and begin planting roses, I can't. Not for the time being. God decided I needed to be right here, in this little red house just off downtown in the place I grew up. Since January, the house has been open to people with nowhere to go. And tomorrow, Renee comes.

Renee has grown children and used to have what you and I would consider a normal life, if there is such a thing. Then two years ago she was riding a horse and the unthinkable happened: she fell off. And her right leg poked into the soft ground when she fell, and she couldn't pull it out quite fast enough to avoid the trampling horse.

She lost the leg.

As if that wasn't traumatic enough for anyone, her husband decided he was less than thrilled with her new situation and took off. Fast forward to now, and we found her getting picked on in a nearby homeless shelter. Ladies who can't chase are easy prey for thieves and meanies, apparently.

She's coming to stay with me tomorrow.

Renee's the second person in as many weeks that's needed to access this house from a wheelchair. It's not the easiest house to do that in. So I spent the day dragging stuff around, rearranging, and worrying about what we'll do with the bathroom.

We'll think of something...

Oh God, You are my stronghold, my shade, and my shelter. Help me love You and Renee well.

Quilts, Cats and Cabins

My spring quilt should be finished over the weekend. And you've no idea the hours that went into being able to type that sentence. (!)

I decided on the log cabin design for this quilt since, whenever I have a spare moment for my brain to switch to daydream mode, I'm dreaming of my cabin. I'm itching for a huge stack of handmade quilts in the cabin, especially since I never seem to have enough blankets.

Just ask Marple. You can never have enough blankets. Or quilts. What is it with cats and quilts, anyhow? If your cat ever goes missing, skip the neighborhood signs and set up a big quilt-stitching party in your yard. (Or balcony, whatever.) Within moments your cat will come running, I promise. Dogs, definitely not. Cats, yes. They can't resist the understated power of the handmade quilt.

See the little gizmo in this picture above with the loopy handle? That is a Goal Zero, solar-charged power station, and it powered my sewing machine as I pieced this quilt. I'm slowly figuring out small ways to cut my electricity dependence in anticipation of living in a cabin off grid, and this little station has enough juice to run my sewing machine for hours on end.

Oh! Speaking of. I've gotten several letters asking about my cabin plans. In case I never said, I have just over 5 acres of remote land that is bordered on the north and west by a national wilderness, and I hope to eventually have 5 cabins total: one for me and the others for women who have come out of abusive/desperate situations. For now, I'm taking my time salvaging building materials, supplies and necessary fixtures. Right now it's windows and a kitchen sink I'm after. The more character and the cheaper, the better! (It's so much fun! Wish you could come sale and flea-ing with me.)

If you're curious about what I'm going for, check out my Cabin board on Pinterest, and feel free to pass along any pictures, articles, or how-to things you think I may like.

Right. Better get back to this quilt. My self-imposed deadline is Sunday, and that will be in our faces before we know it. Happy Thursday! -Brin

Raising Chickens

If I hadn't started painting, I would have raised chickens.
-Grandma Moses

It was an otherwise normal day. I woke, drained 4 cups of Starbucks Christmas Blend coffee (because I'm shamefully addicted), put on a slightly rumpled shirt, and went to the local feed store for a bag or two of garden compost. Only I came out with 24 baby chicks.

Here's what I can tell you: raising chickens is one of the coolest things you'll ever do. Yes, they poop everywhere. And yes, they can be a little more to maintain than, say, a lazy goldfish. But totally worth it. They're totally worth it.

For one, chickens are entertaining. Forget TV. Once you have chickens, you can cancel that cable forever. Instead you can snoop on their play time and catch them establishing the pecking order. The tiny, strange chickens are no match for the loud, stuffed ones. I watched as the small, most peculiar looking chicken ever- Haskins, the white one below- was put in line by an older, heavier breed chick named Hamburger. Not to be outdone, Haskins sneaked up on Hamburger while she was at the feeder and plucked out one of Hamburger's largest feathers. She then tore through the coop like a felon with bank loot with that feather clasped in her beak. The others crowded around and chirped Oh no, you didn't!

Oh yes, she did.

 When you look like an angel/feather puff/clown with a chicken head, you'll do what you have to do to survive in the coop, apparently.

  

I have dual purpose birds, which means they'll be sufficient egg layers and chicken dumplings, depending on how it goes. I'm still many weeks out before I get my first eggs. I can't wait.

Here's what I can say after a month or two of raising baby chicks:

1. They grow. Fast. Quicker than quick. Have your brooder (the thing you raise baby chicks in) ready when you come home. And plan to have an alternate place prepared for between the time the chicks are too big for the brooder but too small to go in the coop. I wasn't ready for that and they actually had to come inside (shudder) for a few days.

2. Have a few good resources to help you out. Of all the books I bought, I like Storey's Guide to Raising Chickens the best. About three days in, I noticed two chicks moving a bit slowly. Not to gross you out, but Storey's Guide immediately told me they had pasty butt, and after dunking those chicks in a little warm water, drying them off and snipping a few feathers, they were back in business. To this day I haven't lost a single chick.

3. Chickens drink and eat tons. In fact, I think they should be called "Devourers" instead of "chickens". Be prepared. They can wipe out your spring herbs, strawberry bed, and 50 pounds of feed in a weekend.

4. You have to protect your devourers from predators, drafts, and drowning. Think like an overprotective Mom and you should be fine. 

5.  If you garden, expect instant, amazing results when you begin adding your own chicken manure to the mix. :)

6. Be prepared to fall in love with the little chicks. And, if you're in to such things, be prepared to think of strange/amazing names for them. All my chickens' names begin with "H", and my family and friends had fun helping me name them. They are, in no particular order: Haskins, Hamburger, Hank, HoHo, Honey Badger, Happy, Haggai, Habakkuk, Harold, Hazelwood, Horace, Hobbit, Hulk, Helen, Hotteedot, Hamlet, HoneyBun, Hadassah, Colonel Heaven and Henrietta. Some remain nameless as they might be gonners later and I can't even think about seeing someone with a name on my plate...

And yes, I know that most of my chicks are hens and most of those names aren't lovely. In my defense, I only named a few.

So all this to say, if you've been thinking of getting a chick or two, DO IT. And if you already do raise chicks, tell me: what's your favorite part of the whole mess?  -Brin

My New Address

Guess what, y'all? My website is finally live! Not finished, by any stretch, but it is up. And it has words. And a picture or two. And this neat little "contact me" area where you can type me until your heart's content and we can send secret messages and letters over the web. I'm excited. Please go over and say hello if you feel like it!

Eventually my blog, shop, and entire web presence will live there. For now- like my thighs- I'm spread all over the place. :)

I'm in the (slow) process of taking pictures of stuff again- stuff I'm doing, stuff I've made, stuff I'm working on, stuff that shows you my life now. I have so much to show and tell you! 

We'll get to it all, I promise. ...

Did you have a happy Easter? I did. Since my birthday and Easter fell on the same day this year, my weekend was full of wonderfulness. And by that I mean that after all the hullabaloo was through, I was able to sit on my couch with a slice of birthday cake and watch two Miss Marple movies on Netflix without having to pause them. Not even once! That hasn't happened in ages. It was incredible. (It also reinforced the realization that I'm nearly to my mid-thirties and am officially an old lady. Knitting while watching Miss Marple didn't do anything to contradict that realization, either.)

Ah well.

It's about to rain here, I think. I can tell by the low clouds, the determined wind and the way the birds in the cedar tree are singing to each other. On my TO DO list today is weeding the garden and hilling up the potatoes... neither of which would be fun to do in a downpour. Guess I should shove off the computer and get outside. 

Have a good day, okay? I'm off to dig in dirt before it turns to mud. -Brin

An Update, As It Were

These last few months have been strange and exhilarating. I don't know another way of saying it.

About two years ago, a casual meeting happened between myself and a man named Walt Meyer. We spent about 20 minutes talking, during which I expressed some frustration at not knowing what God had for my life. He nodded, kindly, and then said: If you knew, you would walk away. 

I love how God reads our thoughts like we read a newspaper and knows our hearts like we know our own home.

If God had made plain, two years ago, what I would be doing now, I would have walked away. Undoubtedly. I tend to do this panic thing when I get far out of my comfort zone and skill set. So God did this ingenious thing where He held His cards close, only revealing one when it was ready to be played.

I am, now, the director of a small but fierce House of Prayer in the town where I grew up. Coming home to the place I was so grateful to have left: that was humbling. God threw that card down on the table in October, and since then a small group of us have been praying, singing and playing, and making new friends among the lonely, the struggling, and the forgotten. It's been amazing and agonizing all at once. And on Saturdays we're setting up under a bridge nearby and feeding our homeless friends, sharing in their lives, and telling them about how much God loves the broken, the down-and-out, and those who feel lost.

So I guess you could say I'm trying to be about my Father's business, kinda like Jesus was. Only my efforts are weak. Laughable, really. I constantly have to remind myself that while this isn't the life I would have chosen, it's the life to which I've been called. And do you have any idea how settling and fulfilling that has been?

Besides that, when I have time, I have perfected my cookie baking skills. (Recipes to come, definitely.) I'm still knitting like a grandma in a yarn factory. (Have you seen Jared Flood's new stuff? Gaw!) I've almost finished piecing a new quilt. I have tons of new books I have to tell you about. I'm growing new flowers and my garden this year looks promising. (Have you heard of this Strawberry Popcorn everyone's talking about this year? Mine's getting on a foot tall already!) My cabin plans are finalized. And I have to tell you about my animal adventures. There's so much catching up to do!


My birthday falls on Easter Sunday this year, so I have a scary busy weekend ahead. I'll catch you on the other side! Until then, Happy Easter. Have a blessed Passover. And please know that I am so, so glad we're here together again.  <3  -Brin

The Chick Makes A Comeback

Hi there. Well gosh, it's been forever! Where in the world have you been?

Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my. So many things have happened since we talked last! So many things.  I, for one, got chickens. Real ones. The kind with downy feathers and tiny beaks and little feet that stomp through herb pots without any regard to carefully-tended dill grown from seed. (ahem)

How about you? Did you get chickens, too? Or maybe a raise? Or a life-changing circumstance? ...How about a sunburn? A birthday present? A little rain? A surprise? Or a new wrinkle (or two)? Wow, in the course of a year you could have gotten any number of things...

Let's catch up. It's been too long. Be back soon. I have to go pick up Marple from the vet.

(That's my cat. I got one of those while you've been away, too...)

See you soon!  -Brin

End of Beginning.

Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end.

But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

-Winston Churchill

My but we've had some times, haven't we?

I look back over the past six years of this blog and let the fullness of it sit with me: the joy, the heartbreak, the discovery, the adventure, the longing, the learning, the trying, the becoming. To be honest, some of it seems so far removed now. And some of it feels like yesterday.

So much has changed in my life since beginning this blog. I was, in the early days, a reporter-come-home. Life intervened with my career and I found myself out of the limelight and out of the big city, tucked away in a forgotten town. I was a girl with big hopes and big plans and, soon, a big, monster of a house to renovate. Ah, Freeman House. Many of you came along as I worked to save and preserve her. It was a huge and delightful undertaking. And still many more watched as, in the crash of 2008, I struggled to keep her. I know many of you felt my loss as I packed and drove away.

(To be sure, she's okay now. Freeman House is. I should say more than okay. The owner I purchased her from- the same owner who let the house fall into shocking disrepair in the 15 years prior to my arriving- got her back. Upon inheriting an estate, the old/new owner ripped her open, gutted the place, and rebirthed it in her own image. I drove past once and ended up getting out of the car 10 minutes later and crying so hard I vommited. The historical details? Gone. The heavy, wavy windows I loved so much? Gone. The soul that made Freeman House... Freeman House? Erased. But she was saved. Folks gush that she is beautiful again. And if I played even the smallest role in protecting her, I'm satisfied.)

But Freeman House wasn't an ending, it was the end of a beginning. You all supported and cheerleaded from the webstands as we moved on, baking... reading... knitting... gardening... talking... believing. I'll forever be grateful to you for the thoughtfulness and happiness you brought into my life. If I played even the smallest role in doing the same for you, I'm satisfied.

It's time for me to move on from this blog. I'm sure you've seen it in my half-heartedness and heard it in my writing. My heart simply isn't here anymore. I hardly recognize the 24 year old girl who began writing this blog. I venture that she would hardly recognize me. But both of us have, and will always, recognize and remember you... your presence here... your place in our blog heart.

Thank you. Thank you for sitting in on the beginnings of my messy, thrilling life. I wish you all the sweet and solace in the world, and of course, my forever

love,
Brin

P.S. You can reach me by emailing me at letters(at)brinwisdom(dot)com. And I hope you will. Let's stay in touch...

The last of the spring peas are in. Tomorrow the row will be turned under, tended and replanted with a different crop. I love the cycle- and the fleeting produce- of spring.

Although I have a mechanical pea sheller (right?! How many single 30-something girls do you know with a mechanical pea sheller?) I prefer to shell them by hand. At least when it's a bushel or less. But I'm not sure whether I'll freeze or can this last picking. May run by Easy To Can and download their handy PDF and pressure can these jewels. We'll see.

Things have been so crazy down here lately- pea picking aside. My oil and gas consulting business has become popular in the past few weeks. As a sole proprietor, that means I eat and sleep with business on the brain. And the tornadoes! So alarming. This week they destroyed an oil rig in Oklahoma just near where I'm contracted to begin a project....

But that's only money. That's just business. My heart and prayers are with the people and families affected by these storms. Joplin, I wanted to go with CRI to help you out so badly....

My little effort to help coming soon.

We remember you... and those who've sacrificed their all for our freedom... this Memorial Day weekend.  -Brin

My schedule went from manageable to insane in a matter of a day. You know what I mean. I'm sure you do.

The thing I dislike about being so awfully busy is that I come up short on time to: knit, bake, garden, and care for friends. But the thing I despise about being so awfully busy is the added challenge of spending time in the Word. Time praying. Time helping out the way I want to.

When we struggle... when we're so busy, God... bind our wandering hearts to Thee...

These Are So Happening...

... today:

1. Cocoa brownies with salted peanut butter frosting.
2. National Day of Prayer.

They're so happening today.  :) 

A Story Marker Giveaway!

I'm really enjoying my little story markers. It truly is the simple things that add up to make a pretty life...

Since a few folks are asking about them, here's the 'behind the scenes' on the latest item in my etsy shop. If you're anything like me- a dreamy, bookish type- you're reading a dozen things right now: books, magazines, catalogues, journals, cookbooks. And it's hard to keep track of where you are in all these places, isn't it?

The beautiful solution: a Story Marker Set. Made from cast aside, repurposed books, magazines, catalogues, lists, recipes, etc., these corner bookmarkers are a smart and simple way to keep your place in the story- without damaging your book. No more dog-eared pages or bent spines! I've adored turning my old reads and pages into something useful and pretty- while keeping my books in good shape, too.

This week, for my blog readers only, I'm offering free shipping on all domestic orders for my Story Marker sets. Just enter the coupon code MYTHRILLINGSTORY as you check out and taxes and shipping are on me!

For those who can't order at this time, I want to send two sets off to a good home. So here's the deal: comment on this post and tell me your thrilling story in 100 words or less. On Monday, the day after Mother's Day, I'll draw two lucky stories and their authors will get a Story Marker Set of their own! Please make sure you leave either a link to your blog or your email address so I can reach you. :)

Thanks for being here, thanks for sharing, and thanks so much for your support. It means everything to me.  -Brin

Daring Adventures

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. Helen Keller. My favorite quote of all time.

I feel some adventure stirring in my life again. It's never quiet for too long. For now, though, I'm out of work and quietly tackling projects around the house: painting bedroom ceilings, cleaning up debris from last week's terrible storms, organizing items for a yard sale. We're also having prayer at my house, five nights a week, two hours a day. I have no doubt that God's soon to put a House of Prayer here and look eagerly for that day.

It's been in the back of my mind again to write. I've decided to start. Look for a book from me in the future....  -Brin

In the Peas

My tangle of peas in the garden is doing so well. As clouds huddled and thunder growled overhead, I worked the damp rows Saturday pulling weeds, spreading compost, checking for signs of trouble.

I love listening to nature's music as I work in the garden. Birds. Butterfly wings. Wind mimicking waves as it sails through leaves of nearby oaks. I close my eyes and listen and breathe until I feel my heart slow... feel my shoulders shrug off the load I forgot I carry.

In the garden, at the piano, and near my stove I feel tethered to something real again. I feel whole. I feel as if everything's going to be okay.

Amazing how a patch of dirt and tangled vines can do that...

Content Call Out

Usually this stuff blows right by me. But today it's under my skin. I'm talking about stealing content. Copying and pasting others' work and words and pretending as if it's yours when it's obviously not. While imitation may be the sincerest form of flattery, smashing and grabbing content and selling it off as your own isn't. It's a bit thoughtless, I think. A bit thoughtless and a lot rude.

It's been happening so often with my blog lately that I finally decided to mention it. Hey, we all make mistakes. No one's a perfect blogger or completely original thinker. But if you lift words or images from this site, please attribute content or link back to this blog.

I appreciate your understanding.  -Brin

A Farm for the Future

I am a gardener. But for a living, I own a small oil and gas consulting/brokerage business. Needless to say, I am fascinated by topics such as energy and agriculture, peak oil, sustainable food supply, and even permaculture.

(You guessed it. I'm not the kind of gal you take to a funny movie. All my "Recommended For You" suggestions on Netflix fall in their "cerebral" category. Boring, right? ;)

But this isn't. If you're a gardener, a farmer, a homesteader, or anyone interested in the future of our food production, you may be as fascinated by A Farm for the Future as I was.

Or maybe not. But it was worth a shot.

*grin*

Happy weekend. -Brin

...How much piecing a quilt's like living a life...

The Lord sends us the pieces, but we can cut 'em out

 and put 'em together pretty much to suit ourselves...

-Eliza Calvert Hall, Aunt Jane of Kentucky

I started piecing this quilt four years ago, I think. I needed some bright spots, some lightness to my life. Some sunshine. Some open spaces.

Think I'll finish it these next two weeks. I think I'll sit under that apple tree in the sunshine and stitch the layers together. And I think I'll attach a special tag on the back with the above quote stitched to it.

There's so much on my heart this week. So much I want to say. But something isn't quite right so I delete it all and wander back to my basket of half-realized quilt.

Here's to pieces and the hope that they will one day come together...

. . . . .

Oh yes. If you're not familiar with Project Gutenberg, you might want to be. Digital copies of thousands of ebooks and manuals- free for the greedy taking.