Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The Recluse Makes Hot Chocolate

A man travels the world over in search of what he needs
and returns home to find it.
-George Moore

I suspect there may be something wrong with me. Seriously. Don't laugh! I don't want to leave my house.

This morning I walked through the sitting room off my bedroom and paused at the floor-to-ceiling window. It was sleeting. "It will be fun to go out," I told myself enthusiastically. Hmm... yeah. I'm too smart to pull one over on myself. I put an Old Navy sweater over my flannel duck pajamas, made hot chocolate, and settled into my favorite chair.

It's now after 5 p.m. I'm still sitting here in my duck pajamas. Sure, I walked to the mailbox. And sure, I swept the floors and washed up. But for most of the day, I've sat here, working on little projects and returning emails.

Why is it that some people won't stay home, while others of us won't leave home?

You know that brick wall most of us seem to hit every few years? I think I have one cheek embedded in it. I'm at a crossroads in my career. With the price of oil rapidly declining, more companies are hesitant to drill for oil - or hire people like me to take care of the preliminary drilling things I do. My job is one of feast or famine. For the last several years, everyone in the business has been riding high. That, I suspect, might soon change. Trouble is, I've only had two real professions in my working life: reporter, and oil and gas girl. As I near 30, neither really seem to fit the person I've become. In the last several months, I think I've identified the life I want. It's a risk. It's a gamble. But it could mean happiness, freedom, and the creative free-reign I've wanted forever.
And it will involve working from home. I would adore it. Reclusive? Yes. But Emily Dickinson was a reculse. So was van Gogh. So was Martha Stewart... when she was on house arrest. So is Harper Lee. See? Cool, contributive people hide out at home all the time.

My friend Brian - one of my favorite friends ever - thinks that work is just that: work. That work is one thing, and fun is another. That the two shouldn't necessarily mix. "They don't call it a job for nothing," he says. And maybe he's right. But... but... I just can't work... I can't delve into a career long term, if it isn't anything I'm passionate about. If it isn't anything I get enjoyment from. It makes me wonder: am I expecting too much?

So I sit here, in my chair, pondering my world. Pondering my world, and sipping on hot chocolate. Well, it is good hot chocolate. Here, I'll share:

Brin's Ain't Leaving Home

1 c. milk
1 cinnamon stick
1 1/2 T. unsweetened cocoa
2 T. sugar
1/2 t. vanilla

Pour milk into heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium high heat. Add cinnamon stick. Heat until hot, but not boiling.

In the meantime, mix cocoa and sugar in mug. Add vanilla and stir until mixture resembles chocolate-looking sand. (Yum.) When milk is hot, pour into mug and stir.

Top with extra cinnamon or whipped cream or chocolate or ice cream. If you're enjoying with Ginger Snaps, as I did today, mix in a little ginger. The world is your oyster, my friend.

Gosh. I suppose that as far as blog posts go, this is probably the most boring ever. Sorry about that! Perhaps if I left my house I'd have more to say....

(Sigh. Smile.)


Anonymous said...
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Britt-Arnhild said...

I agree with you in so much of what you say here. Good luck in following the new direction on your life.
The chocolate looks delicious.

Brin said...

Hey folks! I wanted you guys to know that I appreciate everyone who reads... those who comment and the many more who don't. Glad you take a moment of your day to spend with me! Thanks for being here! :D

While I am thrilled when you guys comment, we have noticed that my soon-to-be-ex husband, by himself or with his friends and family, is using this forum to further harrass me. Not appropriate and a little out of line, right? While my lawyer loves it - more proof of harrassment for the judge- it tends to be a real turn-of to me and many of you guys. I know, because you call and email. Thanks Am. Love you!)

Okay. :D All this to say that - for now - I have enabled comment moderation on the blog, which means that before your comment posts, my system will email me and give me the chance to review the comment. You don't have to take any additional steps, just comment as you usually would. Please know that I will post any comment - agree or disagree, like or don't like - as long as it doesn't consitute a personal attack or harrassment. Or isn't from someone "posing" as a friend of my ex.

Ah, fun stuff for our Thursday morning, right?! I'm sorry you, as my friend, had to witness a small part of the abusive situation I've come out of.


Sara said...

I found your blog from...I think the Sparrow's Nest. I love your recipe's and commentary...very cozy! I will have to try and make the hot chocolate.

Lynne said...

Gee, Brin. I guess you do have a MESSY life!

Susan said...

Lynne is just too funny!

Anyways, I don't see any reason why you shouldn't be able to have fun and love your work. I vote you go with your passion. (but that's just me)

Anonymous said...
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smilnsigh said...

"It makes me wonder: am I expecting too much?"

Joseph Campbell said; "Follow your bliss." He knew exactly what you feel, and agreed with you... That one's work should be joy.

My introduction to him, was "A Joseph Campbell Companion," by Diane K. Osbon. [Who assembled excerpts from his many works, and distilled the central ideas he wrote about over the years.] I hope you'll find a copy and leaf through it and find that he understood your hope, that one's work should be one's joy.


P.S. Who came to your Blog, via Dear Cherry's 'Tales From The Pixie Wood.' In case you wonder, how I happened to pop in here... :-)