The Vacation... Or the Life of a Drowned Snorkel Rat

A vacation is what you take

when you can no longer take

what you've been taking.

-Earl Wilson

Oh, so true, right? So to the wild and wonderful seas I went aboard a Carnival Cruise Fun Ship! Thanks to the most incredible cruise hook-up girl ever, Jae, The Cruise Princess, a few friends and I boarded this ship, the Ecstasy, and away we sailed...


See the "C" in Ecstasy? My cabin was just below that letter "C". That's me. The back of the ship. Wow. It was amazing. The watery blue view was amazing.


The cabin had a window seat of sorts. I'd sit there... right against the window... and drink my coffee and read my magazines and stare out at the waves. Just look:


Unbelievable. That first night the waters were choppy and I got very, very dizzy. Not sick, but dizzy. I felt as if I was walking like those people on the V8 commercials. "Let's take pictures before we go to dinner!" my friends cried. Okay. As the boat rocked, I stood in front of my little cabin window and then shrieked, "Hurry, would ya!? I'm about to fall over!" You can see it, too, in the picture one of them took:

Boy, my head was swimming!

But we got to port after a day or two at sea. The boat docked or anchored or whatever they do, and off we hopped. Eventually, we ended up here, in Cozumel:


What do we want to do? we all asked each other. Snorkeling!! was the reply. So snorkel we did. Donning fins and masks we jumped, one by one, into the blue, silky waves above the coral reef off the coast of Cozumel. Jumped off the boat and into the center of another world. Fish and creatures swam by as the waves carried us away from the boat. "Mirarse... alli es barracuda!" the guide shouted above the foamy roar, grabbing my hand and spinning me around in the water. "Barracuda!" he yelled again, pointing.

A few yards away, my bobbing-in-the-waves-friend Kim stopped choking on inhaled salt water long enough to shriek, "DUDE! Whaaaat's a freakin' barracuda?!"

We laughed so hard I inhaled salt water. Later, when a sting ray inched our way, I laughed so hard at Kim I could barely swim. Um, I mean snorkel.

Later, in the bathroom, I looked into the mirror and shuddered. "But look at my Jennifer Anniston beach waves," I told my friend Shelley. We laughed. "Put on your sunglasses," Kim said. "You look like a movie star."

Whatever. I looked like a drowned snorkel rat.


Or a Cozumel beach monkey wearing a red hat that says, "Charlie's". Too bad you can't see my Jennifer Anniston waves here.

But oh, the fun we had! On dry, non-sandy land we watched the Mayans dance...

... and said hello to sombrero-wearing horses...

What a vacation! What a week! Seriously, if you get to a point where you can no longer take what you've been taking, call my friend Jae. She can make you a window-sitting, barracuda-fleeing, Mayan-watching, Jennifer-Anniston-haired, drowned snorkel rat anytime you please....

Seriously, Jae. We love you and thank you. I'm so appreciative of one of the most fun weeks of my life!

P.S. We have underwater barracuda snorkeling pictures. Kim's getting them developed. Y'all be sure to help me bug her until she sends a CD of them my way!