Mittens 'n Things

The nurse burst into my exam room in Dallas yesterday... shoes squeaking and chart papers rustling... and said, loudly, "Come with me to radiology, please."

I scooted off the end of the tissue paper exam table. "Sure. Why?" I asked.

"Your sonogram," she said, quickly.

Huh? I laughed. Then sighed. "Maybe there's been a chart mixup. I'm not pregnant. Could you check again?"

She gave me a long look and asked my name. Then she gave the chart a long look. Then she gave me another long look. "Come with me, please," she repeated, her eyes narrowing.

"But I'm not pregnant!" I insisted. "Why do I need a sonogram?"

"Doctors orders!" she barked. "Leave your purse here."

There are several things I really don't like. Like liver. Screaming babies in nice restaurants. Stupid drivers. Rap. Hillary Clinton. The movie Fargo. And mean nurses.

Oh, and maybe un-pregnant sonograms. They're creepy. I thought the first time I had one I'd be accompanied by a handsome, excited husband and we'd be talking baby names: James or ...? What's your mom's maiden name again? I didn't think I'd be topless in some room with a machine and a beady-eyed radiologist sporing a thin mustache. I could think of better ways to spend a Wednesday.

A few hours and several people poking my chest later, the doctor came in. "If you were trying to find a baby, I could have saved you the work," I said jokingly. "Besides, your creepy radiologist sonogrammed by boobs." She laughed. I love my doctor.

"You have a small bleeding hematoma in your left breast," she said.

"I'll take it," I said.

Thank God it wasn't breast cancer. I've been really, really concerned.

I left the hospital and stopped in Target to get some bottled water. And mittens. I'm not sure why I bought mittens, but I did. Like eight of them.

Might have to have a little work done tomorrow. Thought I'd be up front about it all in the hopes that it will save me some email answering and a plethora of phone calls. If you haven't heard from me lately, this is why. And if you don't hear from me for a few more days, this is why.

In the meantime, my new mittens and I hold you close to my heart.... -Brin